I will be spending the first half of the day with my kids, doing whatever it is they have planned that the refuse to even hint about. Then the second half of the day, we (kids and me) will spend with my Mom. It’s going to be a great day.
Being a Mother
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after having a baby…
That somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, normal is history.
Somebody said that being a mother is boring…
That somebody never rode in a car being driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit.
Somebody said if you’re a good mother, your child will turn out good…
That somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said ‘good’ mothers never raise their voices…
That somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor’s kitchen window.
Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother…
That somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books…
That somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.
Somebody said you can’t love the fifth child as much as the first…
That somebody doesn’t have five children.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery…
That somebody never watched her ‘baby’ get on a school bus for the first day of kindergarten, or on a plane headed for military boot camp.
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand behind her back…
That somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married…
That somebody doesn’t know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother’s heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home..
That somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her so you don’t need to tell her…
That somebody isn’t a mother.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there who are peeling bologna from the kitchen ceiling, scrubbing crayon off the bedroom walls, wiping tiny hand prints from the windows for the fifth time in two hours, proudly looking at the pictures lining the hallway and thinking ‘Wow, I am so blessed’, laughing and playing as if age hasn’t taken a toll on her body, picking out and getting ready to mail high school graduation invitations, meeting the smiling faces of grandchildren with arms and heart wide open, or silently praying that the child she lost knew then and now how much she loved him.
Somewhere in those non-existing instruction manuals that came with my kids, the chapter about ‘Privacy Ends After the First is Born’ was unintentionally left out, obviously. Seriously people, I can’t go pee without at least one shadow. Under normal circumstances, this is not that big a problem. But there are those times, one each month, that privacy with the toilet is a must! Especially when there’s a three year old running around who likes to copy everything mom does, e v e r y t h i n g! I mean, let’s face it, application of certain feminine menstrual products is not exactly ‘delicate’ business, and there are only so many ways to hide what you’re doing. Yeah? Oh the horror when my near three year old son sits down on his potty and assumes the ‘insertion’ position! ACK! And here I thought I was doing good with my dodge and hide tactics. Apparently not. I don’t mind that he sits in the chair and crosses his legs exactly like me. I don’t mind that he talks on his ‘air’ phone while I’m talking on the real phone. I don’t even mind that he insists on wearing makeup like me (ok, so, that one I do mind. That shits not cheap!). The whole potty scenario… yeah, not to pleased with that one. I’m still trying to figure out how he managed a sneak peek. How?! I was oh-so-very careful… oh-so-very sneaky… and obviously not oh-so-very alone.
I’ll be moving in exactly two weeks, so won’t be around much if any starting today. My internet will be disconnected within the next couple days or so and I’m not sure how long it’ll be before I have net once I’m moved- hopefully only a couple days but ya never know! I’ll be here and blogging until they pull the chord though! But, when I disappear, you’ll know why! Heads up people, heads up!
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